Aurat

कुछ बातें ऐसी होती हैं जिन्हें बोलने से बहुत कुछ बदल सकता है। लेकिन जज़बात को अगर न कहा जाये, तोह फिर बहुत कुछ बदल सकता है अपने अन्दर।
क्यूँ हम अपने बचपन को इतनी जल्दी बिताना  चाहते हैं, जब की जवान होने की चाह में बचपन भी एक कठोर  एहसास बनकर रह जाता है। क्यूँ किसी के दिल को ठेस न पहुचे, हम अपने आप को ठेस पहुचाने में झिझकते नहीं? क्यूँ हम अपने आप को दुसरे नंबर पर रखते हैं, और बाकी सबसे पहले होते हैं? अगर मै एक औरत हूँ तोह क्या मै अपने बारें में सबसे आखिर में सोचु? क्या एक बेटी, बहिन, माशुका, बीवी  और माँ से बढकर मैं कुछ और नहीं हूँ? क्यूँ मैं समाज के अनुसआर अपनी जिवंशाला बिताऊँ? क्यूँ नहीं मैं जी सकती जैसे मैं चाहती हूँ? यह सवाल सिर्फ मेरा नहीं, पर उन सबका है जो चिल्ला चिल्ला के अपना अस्तित्व जाताना चाहते हैं। मुझे जीने दो। मुझपर रहम करो।
हर बार एक लाञ्चन लगा दिया जाता है क्यूंक मैं एक औरत हूँ। मुझे कुछ कहने का हक नहीं है। सब कुछ मेरी ज़िम्मेदारी है। नहीं, बस और नहीं। हर चीज़ की एक सीमा होती है, और आज समाज ने वोह लांघ ली है। अपने  हक के लिए आज हर औरत लड़ना जानती है, और उससे किसी का दर नहीं। न समाज का, न परिवार का, किसी का भी नहीं।

When friends turn into strangers

Why does it hurt more when your closest friends become strangers. Is it because change is inevitable? And one cannot control it, or is it because you refuse to see your friends any other way. 
I've grown from the pig tail girl I was in school, who loved to yap and was fairly carefree in life. Yet, I think I am carrying that small girl within my heart, who refuses to change her stance on friends--best friends mind you. It hurts like hell, when the other person in this friendship has no clue whatsoever. Who admonishes you at the slightest change in what is termed as a socially unacceptable behaviour...who doesn't see the hurt in your eyes, but says 'you're over reacting'. How does one behave then when the small girl refuses to grow up and adhere to rules of the world. How do you explain to her that it's not okay to keep hurting and expecting your best friend to understand. How do you tell her to not feel bad if you're not the one person your once closest friend turns to when she needs an ear. 
For many years, I've played the role of a good friend who was always there for her friend. Those few hours of solitude, just being lost in the old world when big things didn't matter and life was enjoyed best with few bucks collected at the last minute searching inside school bags for some loose change. 
Yes, it's been that long now when simple things don't make a difference and what counts is if you're the drinking type who would like to enjoy a small gathering of unknown people, with whom you should be able to get along. 
How do you remain calm and nonchalant when the old friend calls out of the blue and wants to catch up. Do you fight back saying am I worth meeting in 6 months time? Or you feign ignorance and say you would call back. Does the other person not understand the change in tone, the lack of warmth and excitement of 'Hello'. Have we become too  busy to notice such subtle changes or it's not perceived as deception until you shout it out and create the drama. 
Is it okay to lose friends who're not what they used to be? Is it okay to say, 'I need a break' to close friends who are caught up in their own melodrama and couldn't care less because according to them you're the one with emotional issues. 
What do you do then? Wait for the time to pass and emotions to fade, so it hurts less and one day you forget the very reason why things changed with your closest friend...